David Bowie on a Snow Day

Changes in weather are unpredictable, particularly in regions generally protected by the stability of the oceans.  With the advent of mass media and the internet, precise records of weather trends are available to white people everywhere.  However, we lack the ability to judge what this actually means.  As previously reported, white people have a primal instinctual aversion towards needlessly outing into the dangerous state of nature lying barely beyond their front door.  As such simply peeking outside to gauge the temperature risks death, which forces whites into inappropriately dressing themselves.  Have pity on those wearing fur hats in summers, or going shirtless with a cardigan during these cold snaps.  They have a better reason for it than you think.

An incidental consequence of our shared experience that is weather change, is wonderful conversation with strangers.  Every woman will be fawning over you when you ask them if they know its cold, or tell them to wrap up when you depart.  Any potential friend will immediately recognize your ability to state the obvious, what else can you expect from a white friend?